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... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Meant
Use
Used
Never
Scratches
Motor
Vehicle
Upset
Saved

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse — But all may be described in verse.
Garrison Keillor
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Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
Garrison Keillor
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
Garrison Keillor
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
Garrison Keillor
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Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
Garrison Keillor
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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
Garrison Keillor
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
Garrison Keillor
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
Garrison Keillor
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As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
Garrison Keillor
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
Garrison Keillor
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That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor
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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
Garrison Keillor
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor