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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Second
Home
Music
Play
Concerto
Violins
Violin
Perfectly
Nobody
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
Garrison Keillor
It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
Garrison Keillor
A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
