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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Switched
Christmas
Sex
Secret
Happiness
Remember

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
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I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
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Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
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It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
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