Quote

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Garrison Keillor

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Sex
Secret
Happiness
Remember
Switched
Christmas

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

Image
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I hiked around town, the air sweet and dry, and was sort of overwhelmed by the perfection of it -- the old courthouse, the train depot, Mount [Jumbo] and Mount Sentinel rising up, the neon bars, the funky festivity of a college town .
Garrison Keillor
Image
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
Image
Being rich and thin isn't everything.
Garrison Keillor
Image
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
Garrison Keillor
Image
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
Garrison Keillor
Image
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
Image
Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor
Image
... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
Garrison Keillor
Image
The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
Garrison Keillor
Image
That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor