Quote

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.

Garrison Keillor

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Remember
Switched
Christmas
Sex
Secret
Happiness

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

Image
Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
Image
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
Image
A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
Garrison Keillor
Image
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison Keillor
Image
In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
Garrison Keillor
Image
The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
Garrison Keillor
Image
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
Image
No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.
Garrison Keillor
Image
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
Image
One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison Keillor
Image
We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
Image
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
Image
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
Image
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor