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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Plays
God
Jokes
Attention

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
Garrison Keillor
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
Garrison Keillor
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As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
Garrison Keillor
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
Garrison Keillor
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
Garrison Keillor
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We English majors...need to promote public libraries as a tool in the war against terror. How many readers of Edith Wharton have engaged in terroristic acts? I challenge you to name one...Do we need to wait until our cities lie in smoking ruins before we wake up to the fact that a first-class public library is a vital link in national defense?
Garrison Keillor
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
Garrison Keillor
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I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
Garrison Keillor
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
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I hiked around town, the air sweet and dry, and was sort of overwhelmed by the perfection of it -- the old courthouse, the train depot, Mount [Jumbo] and Mount Sentinel rising up, the neon bars, the funky festivity of a college town .
Garrison Keillor
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A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
Garrison Keillor
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison Keillor