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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Considered
Catholic
Road
Step
Steps
Lutheran
Firsts
Lutherans
Come
Minneapolis
First
Marries

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I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
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Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.
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Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
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A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
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She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
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