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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
First
Marries
Considered
Catholic
Road
Step
Steps
Lutheran
Firsts
Lutherans
Come
Minneapolis

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
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Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
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Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people.
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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
Garrison Keillor
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In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
Garrison Keillor
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Sport is a seductive metaphor (life as a game in which we gain victory through hard work, discipline, and visualizing success). but the older metaphor of farming (life as hard labor that is subject to weather and quirks of blind fate and may return no reward whatsoever and don't be surprised) is still in our blood.
Garrison Keillor
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
Garrison Keillor