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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
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Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Surprise
Anymore
Writer
Humor
Knell
Funny
Humorist
Death
Humorists
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Otherwise
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
We English majors...need to promote public libraries as a tool in the war against terror. How many readers of Edith Wharton have engaged in terroristic acts? I challenge you to name one...Do we need to wait until our cities lie in smoking ruins before we wake up to the fact that a first-class public library is a vital link in national defense?
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
Garrison Keillor
I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
Garrison Keillor
Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor
It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor
For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
Garrison Keillor
People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
Garrison Keillor
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Garrison Keillor
Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
Garrison Keillor
