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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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A child can educate just about anybody.
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
Garrison Keillor
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Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
Garrison Keillor
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In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
Garrison Keillor
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
Garrison Keillor
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We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
Garrison Keillor
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
Garrison Keillor
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
Garrison Keillor
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
Garrison Keillor
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I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
Garrison Keillor
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Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
Garrison Keillor