Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
Garrison Keillor
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Gotten
Jesus
Earth
Would
Dakota
Inherit
Minnesota
Meek
North
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
Garrison Keillor
In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
Garrison Keillor
For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
Garrison Keillor
I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
Garrison Keillor
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don't waste my time, don't B.S. me, I wasn't born yesterday.
Garrison Keillor
Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and on an opera make me seriously want to retire and find a volunteer job as a docent at the zoo explaining to schoolchildren where frogs go in the winter.
Garrison Keillor
Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
Garrison Keillor
Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Garrison Keillor
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
Garrison Keillor
