Quote

The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Firsts
Ought
Hints
Come
Stage
Retire
First
Waiting
Embarrassment
Trying
Bigs
Dropping
People
Idea
Trip
Fall
Retiring
Ideas
Avoid
Reason
Wait

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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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Sport is a seductive metaphor (life as a game in which we gain victory through hard work, discipline, and visualizing success). but the older metaphor of farming (life as hard labor that is subject to weather and quirks of blind fate and may return no reward whatsoever and don't be surprised) is still in our blood.
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
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I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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