Quote

The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Firsts
Ought
Hints
Come
Stage
Retire
First
Waiting
Embarrassment
Trying
Bigs
Dropping
People
Idea
Trip
Fall
Retiring
Ideas
Avoid
Reason
Wait

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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
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That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
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Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse — But all may be described in verse.
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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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