Quote

The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Come
Stage
Retire
First
Waiting
Embarrassment
Trying
Bigs
Dropping
People
Idea
Trip
Fall
Retiring
Ideas
Avoid
Reason
Wait
Firsts
Ought
Hints

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
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A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
Garrison Keillor
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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
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Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and on an opera make me seriously want to retire and find a volunteer job as a docent at the zoo explaining to schoolchildren where frogs go in the winter.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
Garrison Keillor
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Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.
Garrison Keillor
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We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
Garrison Keillor
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I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.
Garrison Keillor