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I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Would
Time
Think
Covetousness
Thinking
Lust
World
Church
Half
Doe
Better
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
Garrison Keillor
Sport is a seductive metaphor (life as a game in which we gain victory through hard work, discipline, and visualizing success). but the older metaphor of farming (life as hard labor that is subject to weather and quirks of blind fate and may return no reward whatsoever and don't be surprised) is still in our blood.
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We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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