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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Thinking
Preachers
Preacher
Allows
English
Talk
Perfect
Language
Think

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
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... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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I love New York, and I'm drawn to a certain intensity of life, but I've just never felt like I want to escape from the Midwest. A writer lives a great deal in his own head, and so one intuitively finds places where your head is more clear. New York for me is one of those places.
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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
Garrison Keillor
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away.
Garrison Keillor
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
Garrison Keillor
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
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Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.
Garrison Keillor
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor