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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Thinking
Preachers
Preacher
Allows
English
Talk
Perfect
Language
Think

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
Garrison Keillor
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
Garrison Keillor
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
Garrison Keillor
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
Garrison Keillor
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Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
Garrison Keillor
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
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A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
Garrison Keillor
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
Garrison Keillor
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Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
Garrison Keillor
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...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
Garrison Keillor
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
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In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
Garrison Keillor
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse — But all may be described in verse.
Garrison Keillor
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
Garrison Keillor
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
Garrison Keillor
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
Garrison Keillor
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
Garrison Keillor