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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Sometimes
Must
Something
Anyway
Times
Nothing
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
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... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
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Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
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The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
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