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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Vomiting
Eating
Littles
Little
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
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My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
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A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
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She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
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That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
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As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
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Most men are prisoners at best, Who some strong habit every drag about Like chain and ball.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better.
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