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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Committee
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Donald
Committees
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Negotiate
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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I want to resume the life of a shy person.
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Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
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When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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We English majors...need to promote public libraries as a tool in the war against terror. How many readers of Edith Wharton have engaged in terroristic acts? I challenge you to name one...Do we need to wait until our cities lie in smoking ruins before we wake up to the fact that a first-class public library is a vital link in national defense?
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.
Garrison Keillor
