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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Prepares
Majors
Major
English
Authority
Impersonating

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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A child can educate just about anybody.
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A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.
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Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
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Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
Garrison Keillor
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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad.
Garrison Keillor
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
Garrison Keillor