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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Authority
Impersonating
Prepares
Majors
Major
English

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison Keillor
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
Garrison Keillor
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison Keillor
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness the superior man exults in his gloom.
Garrison Keillor
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I think there's a lot of power in listening to one person talking to you. And this should never be underestimated.One person sitting and talking to you and, you're pulled in, in ways that technology and art and all cannot.
Garrison Keillor
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
Garrison Keillor
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
Garrison Keillor
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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
Garrison Keillor
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Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
Garrison Keillor
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As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.
Garrison Keillor
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I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.
Garrison Keillor
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A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
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Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
Garrison Keillor
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
Garrison Keillor
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
Garrison Keillor