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To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Ships
Cabinets
Several
Cruise
Cruises
Luxury
Senior
Marina
Remain
Weekend
Potomac
Feet
Officials
Yachts
Week
Weeks
Yacht
Left
Presidential
Submerged
Keep
Length
Cabinet

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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse — But all may be described in verse.
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Writing is the main gig and teaching and performing are sidelines, an excuse for not writing more. Working on a novel and on an opera make me seriously want to retire and find a volunteer job as a docent at the zoo explaining to schoolchildren where frogs go in the winter.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
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I feel it's so hard for young actors It's a different world that they're coming up in there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there.
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A child can educate just about anybody.
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
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Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
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