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Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Fact
Presented
Bigs
Fuel
Facts
Reform
Enough
Waste
Men
Capable
Already
Stop
Bottling
Water
Shipping
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
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A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Garrison Keillor
Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot.
Garrison Keillor
For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
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...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
Garrison Keillor
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
Garrison Keillor
Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
Garrison Keillor
To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
Garrison Keillor
I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
Garrison Keillor
Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
Garrison Keillor
I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
Garrison Keillor
Spending time in a church does not make you religious, any more than spending time in a garage makes you a car.
Garrison Keillor
We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
