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I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Things
Loved
Loses
Break
Careless
Taken
Managed
Wrong
Precious
Turns
Rain
Many
Lose
Much
Leave

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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.
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Have interesting failures.... If you need to have a personal crisis have it now. Don't wait until midlife, when it will take longer to resolve.... Don't pity yourselves. Lighten up. Seek people with a sense of humor. Avoid humorless people-and do not marry one, for God's sake.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse — But all may be described in verse.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
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The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
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Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
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