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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Thinking
Fifty
Dollars
Worth
Garrison
Head
Haircut
Beauty
Haircuts
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Cent
Important
Cents
Mind
Dollar
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
Garrison Keillor
A child can educate just about anybody.
Garrison Keillor
Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
Garrison Keillor
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
Garrison Keillor
Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
Garrison Keillor
I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
Garrison Keillor
We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
Garrison Keillor
Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love
Garrison Keillor
There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
Garrison Keillor
You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
Garrison Keillor
That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.
Garrison Keillor
Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
Garrison Keillor
No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.
Garrison Keillor
Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.
Garrison Keillor
When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
