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Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
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Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Beautiful
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Important
Cents
Mind
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Thinking
Fifty
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Garrison
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Beauty
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More quotes by Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
Garrison Keillor
I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
Garrison Keillor
Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill.
Garrison Keillor
Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
Garrison Keillor
I like to sing and it's just really fun to sing, and I don't get too much. And at my house I'm not allowed to because, you know, your children can't stand it when you sing at home.
Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
Garrison Keillor
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
Honesty is a rare commodity in a palace, and that is why so many fairy-tale marriages end up on the rocks.
Garrison Keillor
The great unrequited love tears open your heart to the beauty of the world, its small rivers and upland meadows. It also makes you kinder to the next hundred thousand persons who cross your path.
Garrison Keillor
Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
Garrison Keillor
A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
Garrison Keillor
Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
Garrison Keillor
People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
Garrison Keillor
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
Garrison Keillor
There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you come from.
Garrison Keillor
Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.
Garrison Keillor
