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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
School
Wage
Together
Attacking
Holds
Schools
Conservative
Public
Vandal
Community
Vandals
War
Mortar

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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.
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I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
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Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.
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I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
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I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
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The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.
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I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.
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It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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