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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
School
Wage
Together
Attacking
Holds
Schools
Conservative
Public
Vandal
Community
Vandals
War
Mortar

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I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.
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Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
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The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either
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Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
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Scripture doesn't promise that God will remove temptation, only that you'll be given strength to withstand it.
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