Quote

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Lived
Wouldn
Humor
Fire
Lasts
Last
Funny
Rockets
Today
Boxes

More quotes by Garrison Keillor

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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special.
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I usually don't work with other people I do the whole show myself.
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As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
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Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.
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People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
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English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.
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We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.
Garrison Keillor
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A good friend is a person who thinks you're one of the good eggs, even if he knows you're a little cracked.
Garrison Keillor
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I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
Garrison Keillor
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God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.
Garrison Keillor
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
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Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
Garrison Keillor