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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
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Television Producer
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Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Realizing
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More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Beauty isn't worth thinking about what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor
Garrison Keillor
In the end, all solutions are temporary.
Garrison Keillor
I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.
Garrison Keillor
Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.
Garrison Keillor
The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor
In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
Garrison Keillor
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.
Garrison Keillor
Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.
Garrison Keillor
We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?
Garrison Keillor
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
Garrison Keillor
IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
Garrison Keillor
The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.
Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.
Garrison Keillor
English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.
Garrison Keillor
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Garrison Keillor
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
Garrison Keillor
...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
Garrison Keillor
As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
Garrison Keillor
Your life is a work of art, and in the end, the underlying theme of great art is bravery and hope and love.
Garrison Keillor