Quote

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

Garrison Keillor

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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Read
Peas
Home
Noon
Able
Pot
Time
Minister
Ministers
Clock
Turn
Freezer
Turns
Roast

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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.
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You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.
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IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.
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No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.
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I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.
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A child can educate just about anybody.
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.
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The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
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