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It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Luxury
Luxuries
Brought
Barbarians
Window
Conditioning
Air
Roman
Couldn
Windows
Coming
Empire
Hear
Empires
Like
Shut
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A child can educate just about anybody.
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To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.
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Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
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We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
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In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.
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I felt bad for that world that we have given a generation of kids.
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When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.
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The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
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The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
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Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before.
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In the end, all solutions are temporary.
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse But all may be described in verse.
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One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who dont understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
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..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.
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This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.
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I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.
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