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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
Love
Compulsory
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Merry
Holiday
Christmas
Lovely
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Xmas
Together
Thunderstorm
Thing
Festive
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
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If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
Garrison Keillor
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
Garrison Keillor
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
Garrison Keillor
It's confidence it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
Garrison Keillor
As a former English major, I am a sitting duck for Gift Books, and in the past few years I've gotten Dickens, Thackeray, Smollet, Richardson, Emerson, Keats, Boswell and the Brontes, all of them Great, none of them ever read by me, all of them now on a shelf, looking at me and making me feel guilty.
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Childhood is the small town everyone came from.
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When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.
Garrison Keillor
People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.
Garrison Keillor
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
Garrison Keillor
We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.
Garrison Keillor
Humor has to surprise us otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.
Garrison Keillor
Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door
Garrison Keillor
To your left is the marina where several senior cabinet officials keep luxury yachts for weekend cruises on the Potomac. Some of these ships are up to 100 feet in length the Presidential yacht is over 200 feet in length, and can remain submerged for up to 3 weeks.
Garrison Keillor
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.
Garrison Keillor
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
Garrison Keillor
For me, the monologue was the favorite thing I had done in radio. It was based on writing, but in the end it was radio, it was standing up and leaning forward into the dark and talking, letting words come out of you.
Garrison Keillor
I love rhymes I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.
Garrison Keillor