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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
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Garrison Keillor
Age: 82
Born: 1942
Born: August 7
Author
Comedian
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Anoka
Minnesota
Gary Edward Keillor
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Xmas
More quotes by Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
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Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
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When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem.
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March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.
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The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.
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Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
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There was a price to be paid for being interested in fiction and in writing, pushing my family away. Books and authors became my family.
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling.
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.
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Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
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If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Garrison Keillor
It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
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Possessing the ideal makes a person nervous: you sense the inevitable decline just ahead.
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Being rich and thin isn't everything.
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Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority.
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Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
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Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.
Garrison Keillor
