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Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

Gail Carriger

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Gail Carriger
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: May 4
Archaeologist
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Bolinas
California
Realize
Realizing
Food
Lord
Actually

More quotes by Gail Carriger

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You do realise modern social mores exist for a reason? I was hungry, allowances should be made.
Gail Carriger
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These feelings you engender in me, my lord, are most indelicate. You should stop causing them immediately.
Gail Carriger
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You are about as covert as a sledgehammer.
Gail Carriger
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I had a recent delivery of new fashion plates from Paris, and you hardly glanced at the hairstyles. My husband tells me you are still having difficulty controlling the change. And your cravat has been tied very simply of late, even for evening events.
Gail Carriger
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[She] lost her patience, a thing she was all too prone to misplacing.
Gail Carriger
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There are words to describe her, my dear, but one does not repeat them in polite company.
Gail Carriger
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At such close range, even she could hit a vampire full force in the shoulder, surprising him considerably. He paused in his attack. “Well, my word! You can’t threaten me, you’re pregnant!
Gail Carriger
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I'd rather be loyal than right.
Gail Carriger
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How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.
Gail Carriger
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Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion— although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.
Gail Carriger
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And I find perfect beauty excessively boring, don't you?
Gail Carriger
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As with most things in life, Lady Maccon preferred the civilized exterior to the dark underbelly (with the exception of pork products, of course.)
Gail Carriger
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I am entirely capable. Of what, waddling up to someone and ruthlessly bumping into them?
Gail Carriger
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Poetry can cause irreparable harm when misapplied
Gail Carriger
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The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.
Gail Carriger
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...Tunstell was not what one could describe as call subtle. His flaming red hair bobbed up with each pointed and articulated footstep as though he were some cloaked Gothic villain creeping across a stage.
Gail Carriger
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He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets---even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.
Gail Carriger
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...you have been fraternizing with warewolves overmuch! Military men can be terribly bad for one's verbal concatenation!
Gail Carriger
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He...boasted an unassuming mustache, which was perched atop his upper lip cautiously, as though it were slightly embarrassed to be there and would like to slide away and become a sideburn or something more fashionable.
Gail Carriger
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The duke contents himself mainly with attempting to rule the world and other suchlike nonsense. When one is guiding the patterns of the social universe, a single spinster preternatural is unlikely to cause one undue distress.
Gail Carriger