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That she was irreplaceable became a bittersweet loyalty: Her death was what I had now instead of her.

Gail Caldwell

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Gail Caldwell
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 20
Critic
Journalist
Literary Critic
Instead
Death
Bittersweet
Irreplaceable
Loyalty
Became

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Maybe this is the point: to embrace the core sadness of life without toppling headlong into it, or assuming it will define your days.
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If writers possess a common temperament, it's that they tend to be shy egomaniacs publicity is the spotlight they suffer for the recognition they crave.
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What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone is the simple part.
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the territory of grief ... is both cruel and commonplace.
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Hope in the beginning feels like such a violation of the loss, and yet without it we couldn't survive.
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I know now that we never get over great losses we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.
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Grief doesn't necessarily make you noble. Sometimes it just makes you crazy, or primitive with fear.
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Old dogs can be a regal sight. Their exuberance settles over the years into a seasoned nobility, their routines become as locked into yours as the quietest and kindest of marriages.
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Like a starfish, the heart endures its amputation.
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The only education in grief that any of us ever gets is a crash course.
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The belief that life was hard and often its worst battles were fought in private, that it was possible to walk through fear and come out scorched but still breathing.
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I'd confused need with love and love with sacrifice.
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You can’t change the tale so that you turned left one day instead of right, or didn’t make the mistake that might have saved your life a day later. We don’t get those choices. The story is what got you here, and embracing its truth is what makes the outcome bearable.
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The flaw is the thing we love.
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It's and old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too.
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Scratch a fantasy and you'll find a nightmare.
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memory is both the curse of grief and the eventual talisman against it what at first seems unbearable becomes the succor that can outlast pain.
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