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I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.

Gabriel Iglesias

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Gabriel Iglesias
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: July 15
Actor
Comedian
Comic
Dancer
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
San Diego
California
Gabriel Jesus Iglecias
Fluffy
Find
Aisles
Even
Aisle
Clue
Pregnancy
Test
Tests
Says
Looking
Oops

More quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

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I'm a big fan of Kiss. Gene Simmons, he's all into marketing and branding. You name it, there's some type of product with Kiss' name on it. Studying people like that, you see guys have hooks and there are reasons people are successful.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Understand that you don't know it all. You don't know anything yet. What you've been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don't marry your first love.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like yeah he's a cute little kid but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.
Gabriel Iglesias
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If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like OK, I get it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues.
Gabriel Iglesias
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It's not an overnight thing. I can legitimately say I've been working my ass off for a long time and the fact that I'm getting this concert movie is perfect because it's coming at just the right time in my life.
Gabriel Iglesias
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It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you don't ever come across as offensive. Nobody sees you as a threat. You see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, and you are like 'this guy is ready to party.'
Gabriel Iglesias
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People see a big dude and they hear that high pitched voice or Eglasias with an 'I' and love it because they can relate and go I know that person!.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
Gabriel Iglesias
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You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were.
Gabriel Iglesias
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That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.
Gabriel Iglesias