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I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Gabriel Iglesias

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Gabriel Iglesias
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: July 15
Actor
Comedian
Comic
Dancer
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
San Diego
California
Gabriel Jesus Iglecias
Fluffy
Cake
Drink
Coke
Diet
Regular
Diets

More quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

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If you aim to be big, you will be big. And that's not a pun about my size.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.
Gabriel Iglesias
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If i wouldn't have done comedy, I would have been a teacher. I was really good when I took an exploratory teaching class in high school, at getting kids' attention, and delivering lesson plans. Though my principal even told me that this was what I was meant to do. And that being a big-mouth comedian was a waste of time.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues.
Gabriel Iglesias
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If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like OK, I get it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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The only way I will do a sitcom is if it's hurled at me, and I don't have to work for it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.
Gabriel Iglesias
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It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say.
Gabriel Iglesias
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You live by the cake, you die by the cake.
Gabriel Iglesias
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TV and film for me are not as exciting as the live stand-up show and getting the immediate reaction of the crowd. TV is a lot of hurry up and wait for your shot and less immediate reaction from people.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
Gabriel Iglesias
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If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Originally the big argument was that they wanted to call it raw and uncut and I told them I had a problem with that. When you say raw it implies that my show is dirty and that's not the case.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I talked about the stuff so openly that people are able to connect and relate. I put everything out there [into the network], and if I'm having a bad time, people know about it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day.
Gabriel Iglesias