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I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

Gabriel Iglesias

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Gabriel Iglesias
Age: 48
Born: 1976
Born: July 15
Actor
Comedian
Comic
Dancer
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
San Diego
California
Gabriel Jesus Iglecias
Fluffy
Drink
Coke
Diet
Regular
Diets
Cake

More quotes by Gabriel Iglesias

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I know enough football to know that's funny!
Gabriel Iglesias
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Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I'm a big fan of Kiss. Gene Simmons, he's all into marketing and branding. You name it, there's some type of product with Kiss' name on it. Studying people like that, you see guys have hooks and there are reasons people are successful.
Gabriel Iglesias
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For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You're in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating everything was a joke.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.
Gabriel Iglesias
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With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?
Gabriel Iglesias
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I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.
Gabriel Iglesias
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You know what I learned about Hawaiians? They're just blown up Mexicans!
Gabriel Iglesias
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I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.
Gabriel Iglesias
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As far as uncut I think we all know that you guys cut up the special. Originally it was going to be 2 hours plus and it got chopped down so I said we can't use those words because it's not going to represent me right.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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It's not an overnight thing. I can legitimately say I've been working my ass off for a long time and the fact that I'm getting this concert movie is perfect because it's coming at just the right time in my life.
Gabriel Iglesias
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If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like OK, I get it.
Gabriel Iglesias
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You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.
Gabriel Iglesias
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I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
Gabriel Iglesias
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Jeff Foxworthy had that whole You might be a redneck thing Larry the Cable Guy had Git-R-Done. Some comics have that hook. Dane Cook had that super finger. So I just caught on early on. I ran with Fluffy.
Gabriel Iglesias
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When you go to Hawaii, it's all about Aloha. It means hello, goodbye and I love you.
Gabriel Iglesias