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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
President
Executive
Form
Executives
Would
Vice
Fungus
Boat
Barnacles
Vices
Attaches
Average
Fungi
Growth
Desk
Called
Desks
More quotes by Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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