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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
President
Executive
Form
Executives
Would
Vice
Fungus
Boat
Barnacles
Vices
Attaches
Average
Fungi
Growth
Desk
Called
Desks
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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