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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Boat
Barnacles
Vices
Attaches
Average
Fungi
Growth
Desk
Called
Desks
President
Executive
Form
Executives
Would
Vice
Fungus

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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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