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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Funny
Connecticut
Everywhere
York
City
Outside
Humor
Cities

More quotes by Fred Allen

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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
Fred Allen
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred Allen
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
Fred Allen
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
Fred Allen
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen