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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Humor
Cities
Funny
Connecticut
Everywhere
York
City
Outside

More quotes by Fred Allen

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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
Fred Allen
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
Fred Allen
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
Fred Allen
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
Fred Allen
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred Allen
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
Fred Allen
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen