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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Everywhere
York
City
Outside
Humor
Cities
Funny
Connecticut

More quotes by Fred Allen

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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen