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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Great
Orange
Entertainment
Hollywood
Art
Place

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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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