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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Agents
Except
Gets
Percent
Everything
Headaches
Blinding
Headache
Agent

More quotes by Fred Allen

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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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