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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Desks
Vice
Ships
Vices
Called
Call
Barnacles
President
Attach
Business
Presidents
More quotes by Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen
The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
Fred Allen
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
Fred Allen
Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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