Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Vice
Ships
Vices
Called
Call
Barnacles
President
Attach
Business
Presidents
Desks
More quotes by Fred Allen
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Fred Allen
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
Fred Allen
My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
Fred Allen
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
Fred Allen
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred Allen
Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
Fred Allen
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Fred Allen
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen
Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
Fred Allen
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred Allen
I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred Allen
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred Allen