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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Desks
Vice
Ships
Vices
Called
Call
Barnacles
President
Attach
Business
Presidents

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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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