Quote

On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
President
Attach
Business
Presidents
Desks
Vice
Ships
Vices
Called
Call
Barnacles

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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Television is the triumph of machine over people.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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