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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Desks
Vice
Ships
Vices
Called
Call
Barnacles
President
Attach
Business
Presidents
More quotes by Fred Allen
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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