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With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely.
Fred Allen
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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Conversation
Along
Refrigeration
Hope
Indefinitely
Keep
Foods
Persons
Frozen
Able
Advance
Person
Someday
Promise
More quotes by Fred Allen
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.
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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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The average vice-president is a form of executive fungus that attaches itself to a desk. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.
Fred Allen
