Quote

Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Actor
Actors
Father
Determine
Play
Parts
Make
Average
Men
Changes
Time
Responsible
Physical

More quotes by Fred Allen

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The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred Allen
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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The S.S. Sierra was a ten-thousand-ton vessel. Today, lifeboats bigger than the Sierra are found on the Queen Mary and other luxury liners.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
Fred Allen
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
Fred Allen
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred Allen
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He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument.
Fred Allen
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
Fred Allen
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
Fred Allen
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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
Fred Allen
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The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think- Ladies' Home JournalI'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four
Fred Allen
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
Fred Allen
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
Fred Allen
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Fred Allen