Quote

Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Time
Responsible
Physical
Actor
Actors
Father
Determine
Play
Parts
Make
Average
Men
Changes

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Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
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An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
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Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
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On ships they call them barnacles in business they attach themselves to desks and are called vice presidents.
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Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you'll end up in the police station.
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A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
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Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
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Hush, little bright line, don’t you cry You’ll be a cliché by and by.
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The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.
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English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
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He's so small, he's a waste of skin.
Fred Allen