Quote

Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play.

Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
Age: 61 †
Born: 1894
Born: May 31
Died: 1956
Died: March 17
Actor
Comedian
Journalist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Cambridge
Massachusetts
John Florence Sullivan
Time
Responsible
Physical
Actor
Actors
Father
Determine
Play
Parts
Make
Average
Men
Changes

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California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
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It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
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Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.
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My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.
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A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
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Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
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What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.
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Television is a triumph of equipment over people.
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When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
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If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.
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There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.
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A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.
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Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
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A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
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